February 22, 2018
Are you newly engaged and about to dive into planning Your Wedding?
These three conversations are a MUST if you want it to go smoothly! There are so many decisions to make during this exciting time, and having intentional conversations in the beginning can help ease future stressors or confusion.
You and your fiance.
After celebrating your engagement, it’s time to plan your wedding day – the first day of your marriage! It’s incredibly important to communicate what you VALUE to each other before diving into all of the different elements of planning. What each of you values allows you to create a budget accordingly. Here are a couple of ways to discuss value:
#1 LONG TERM VERSUS SHORT TERM
When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we realized we valued what had the most longevity over time. Although we are somewhat biased towards photography, we chose to delegate more of our budget towards photography and video because we would be able to enjoy those elements decades after our wedding day. We had to compromise on our food options (since that would only last one hour) in order to make that happen. We ended up spending 25% of our budget on photo and video because of that philosophy
#2 HOW TO HONOR OUR FAMILY HERITAGE
Are there elements of your family’s traditions you want to include? Your family may be more unique than you think! Spend time brainstorming what you loved growing up and what makes your families unique.
#3 HOW DO YOU WANT YOUR GUESTS TO FEEL?
Do you want them to feel like they’re enjoying a cozy retreat, an elegant rooftop soiree, or maybe a night below the stars? Putting yourself in their shoes can help guide what type of wedding you’d like to plan!
#4 HOW CAN WE REST TOGETHER WHILE WE’RE ENGAGED?
This may be one of the most important, yet ignored, concepts during a season of engagement. Creating a game plan for date nights or adventures without wedding planning discussions will bring a breath of fresh air back to your relationship – and remind you why you’re planning a wedding in the first place!
Your Parents and Future In-Laws
Your wedding day is a beautiful celebration of your relationship, but it’s also an incredibly special day for your parents! Here are a couple ideas to spark conversation between both sets of your parents.
#1 WHAT ARE THE TOP 3 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO YOU REGARDING OUR WEDDING?
You may be surprised by their answer! My husband’s parents said they wanted to make sure there was a coffee and tea bar to better host our older guests. They had moved to the United States from the middle east, and coffee and tea were especially important to them!
#2 WHAT WERE THE THINGS YOU LOVED MOST ABOUT YOUR WEDDING?
Weddings have changed so much in the last couple of decades! Maybe there are funny stories from their wedding they haven’t shared with you, hiccups they encountered, or fond memories they’d love to share.
#3 WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU HAD DONE FOR YOUR WEDDING?
It may be fun for your parents to revisit what they loved most about their big day – enabling them to give you more advice for your big day! But asking what they wish they had done differently may be more constructive. Maybe they wished they had eloped with a few friends and family? You never know!
#4 DO YOU WANT TO CONTRIBUTE FINANCIALLY IF AT ALL?
This may be an awkward question if it has not been discussed before, but it will better enable you to plan your budget!
Your Coordinator or Wedding Planner
Hiring a wedding planner is one of the best decisions a couple can make for their wedding day. After all, most couples have never done this before and may need some guidance and education! The photo above is my sweet friend Laura of Ida Rose Events – professionals like her make incredible events happen! Here are a couple of ways to start the conversation between you and your planner:
#1 EXPLAIN WHAT YOU VALUE
Your wedding planner will be able to give you insight into how much certain things will cost. For example, your budget for flowers may be $1500 while the inspiration you are pulling from Pinterest may come from a couple who spent $20,000 on their flowers. While stunning, real flowers aren’t cheap! Especially if the flowers you are choosing are out of season or difficult to acquire. Your wedding planner will be able to educate you on how much things cost, and how to create your dream wedding day with the financial boundaries you are willing to set. Again – it all comes down to what you VALUE most. Do you want to have the most exquisite meal possible for your guests? Do you want a specific style of photography or videography? A planner will be able to lead you in the right direction and make sure you plan your day in line with what you value!
#2 EXPLAIN YOUR BUDGET FOR EACH ELEMENT OF YOUR WEDDING DAY
It may be easier to explain the PERCENTAGE of your budget you are willing to spend on each item for your wedding. It may be difficult to set specific numbers for each element prior to getting quotes from vendors, so listing the percentage you are willing to spend on each factor illustrates which part you value most. You can also request a sample budget from your planner! They will have the insight to provide you with what most couples spend on each category – which can be so incredibly helpful when beginning to plan!
#3 EXPLAIN HOW YOU WANT YOUR GUESTS TO FEEL
Since your coordinator or planner will be executing the even the day of, it’s so important to let them know what type of experience you want to give your guests!