The other day I read a statistic that the average length of time for an engagement is 14 months. No wonder Shadi and I have been overwhelmed accomplishing everything in 7! It has been such a unique, and vibrant time. It has been a chance to learn and grow with each other, but I also think I’ve gained a much better understanding of what each of my couples goes through. So here are the top 5 things I’ve learned!

1) Write everything down.

I saw a post from Katelyn Phipps about journaling while being engaged, and I thought I’d run with that idea and make journals for Shadi and I. Although they are pretty small journals, I thought I’d never have the time to fill the whole thing up. Now that we’re a few days away, I’ve been scrambling to find room! This is the journal I used to write down the good things, the bad things, and verses that really struck me at the time. Preparing for marriage creates a lot of different emotions. On difficult days when planning feels overwhelming, it’s comforting to read about days that are pure excitement and expectation.

2) Hug your friends more often.

Okay maybe it’s not necessarily about hugging, but I’ve felt more grounded and excited whenever I spend more intentional time with girlfriends these past few months. Friends that knew me way before Shadi ever came along, and also friends that got to see him and I grow together as a couple. Also, just look how beautiful they are! Wow. For my bachelerotte party, we spent a weekend at sweet Lindsay’s house, staying up late and making breakfast in the morning. We got to go apple picking, and even stopped at TJ Maxx and Target just because. I wouldn’t have traded that time with them for anything!

3) Delegate!

When Shadi and I first started wedding planning, I thought I would never be controlling or demanding. Delegating seems like it would be easy, but in reality it takes a lot of trust. We are incredibly blessed to have so many people in our community that are extremely trustworthy, and we definitely are excited that many people are helping to make our wedding day unique and about our community. In all honesty, it’s hard to hand over decisions about your wedding day to other people. But towards the end, it is essential to trust others to make the day happen, so you and your fiance can truly enjoy each other. I think my biggest logistical regret was not hiring a wedding planner! We are so thankful for our day-of coordinator though, she has been a life saver!

4) Learn to communicate what you value. 

The practice of talking through different wedding details can become tedious. For me, I don’t do well with a lot of small decisions, so it can get more overwhelming. I realize now that communicating which things we value the most helps so much in the long run. Shadi and I have learned to consistently ask the other person what they think, and then compromise accordingly. We’ve also learned when and when not to talk about more difficult subjects, which can sometimes make all the difference! For me, I generally can’t talk about tedious things before 10 AM or after 10 PM. Sometimes that changes, but normally we use that as a rule of thumb!

5) Pray about everything.

I think I’ve always taken this verse pretty lightly:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

It is my nature to sit and stew about things that worry me, so much so that they became much greater issues than they ever were meant to be. Even just a few moments of saying “Lord, you know what is going on, it is yours” settles me and reminds me that our wedding day is not really about us. It is about sharing the truth that Jesus wants so much to be in relationship with us that he died in our place. He is our groom, and we are his bride. Shadi and I will be illustrating just a small earthly version of that.

TOP PORTRAIT BY NIKKI SANTERRE PHOTOGRAPHY